Step by step instructions
Recently we received a letter from the mother of a girl, in which she complained that her daughter was not sure myself: afraid to Express themselves in school, avoiding initiatives.
The problem described by our reader, is not new. Many parents face this: the child is closed, insecure, difficult to converge with classmates, defends his point of view. And further such insecurities can go into complexes, complicate social adaptation, will prevent him from showing his skills and find his place in life.
How can parents help the child?
Step one. Exploration
First of all need to understand the causes of uncertainty, realize, and for this purpose to analyze the situations in which it manifests itself. You should make a list of situations in which the child is experiencing difficulty. For example, he is unsure of the new situation, Blendable in an unfamiliar team, afraid to make contact with a stranger. I personally know of several examples where an insurmountable obstacle is to buy bread in the tent, because the child is shy to speak with the seller.
Or obedient child becomes aggressive when parents come to visit. He’s surly, snarling, behaves shocking, runs away, Continue reading
We are all children of their parents. We trust them with early childhood – because they raised us and cared for us. Over time, many and become parents themselves, and are surprised to find what it is hard work. But understanding that we are the ones, previous and often have not ended the relationship – for example, mother-daughter time.
With a high probability will not “adjust” to the new realities, and to rebuild completely. The girl grew up, the mother persists – where the roots of this conflict and how it is properly resolved?
Difficult period of growing up
Maturing sons is relatively easier, but not softer. Girls tend to agree with mom, or at least not to conflict once again. But the children quite dramatically declare their own independence and isolation. Therefore, the question “how to build a mother relationship with adult daughter?” is much sharper than in the relationship “son – father”.
The worst thing that you can think of, and that certainly will affect the entire life of girls, the future women are defending their “maturity”. The right to be themselves, to have their own beliefs and causes quarrels, complex relationships grown daughters with my mom. How to establish a mother’s relationship with adult daughter, if both sides persist?
5-7 years. Continue reading
In psychology found a wonderful way of assisting the other party in cases where it is difficult to cope with the situation, to experience failure, to Express not quite clear feelings or thoughts. He called the technique of active listening.
Ears on top
With the active hearing your task – to understand the speaker and let him know about it. When we say “understand”, we mean not only the content words, but also his emotional experience.
To solve both of these tasks helps the next appointment – to repeat what is said by the interlocutor, and thus to call it a feeling or a state.
Reproducing the contact said, you can repeat a single word, an entire phrase or use a “paraphrase”, that is, to convey the meaning in other words.
For example, your daughter-the schoolgirl said: “I wouldn’t wear these shoes because they are stupid carrot color and me are all in the class to laugh”. Your answer might be: “You don’t like these shoes because you’re afraid that because of their bright colors in school you’ll be laughed at”.
Why is it necessary?
If your answer is accurate, the person will feel that you have joined his experiences. Continue reading