Compassion and desire to help orphans often encouraged people to take the child into the family. But making documents for adoption or guardianship, it is not, how different from normal children can be orphans.
The adopted child is not the same as your own children. A mismatch between expectations and reality that drives you insane. Especially hard is for couples, who have children of their own. In this case, the comparison of friends and foes (not in favor of the latter, of course) transforms the lives of the whole family into a nightmare.
Love nonnative, and in addition the “difficult” child as your own is never easy. To do this, the adoptive parents will have to seriously work on myself and very much aware.
This is very different children
Your children were born in an atmosphere of love. And for many orphans “happy” childhood is associated with hunger, drunken debauchery parents and the beatings. You spoiled their kids with toys and sweets. And these crumbs fell asleep not cozy in the nursery and in the common room of the orphanage, they learned how to steal and cheat to survive. In addition, in dysfunctional families Continue reading
Step by step instructions
Recently we received a letter from the mother of a girl, in which she complained that her daughter was not sure myself: afraid to Express themselves in school, avoiding initiatives.
The problem described by our reader, is not new. Many parents face this: the child is closed, insecure, difficult to converge with classmates, defends his point of view. And further such insecurities can go into complexes, complicate social adaptation, will prevent him from showing his skills and find his place in life.
How can parents help the child?
Step one. Exploration
First of all need to understand the causes of uncertainty, realize, and for this purpose to analyze the situations in which it manifests itself. You should make a list of situations in which the child is experiencing difficulty. For example, he is unsure of the new situation, Blendable in an unfamiliar team, afraid to make contact with a stranger. I personally know of several examples where an insurmountable obstacle is to buy bread in the tent, because the child is shy to speak with the seller.
Or obedient child becomes aggressive when parents come to visit. He’s surly, snarling, behaves shocking, runs away, Continue reading
For starters, understand for yourself what lies in your children blame YOU. Yes, it is you, not the school, kindergarten, bad company… Here, for example: your baby is four years old, you come for a visit to aunt Alla that treats you pickles. The child turns away, not wants, says: “Tasteless!” You Chipita: “what! Aunt Alla cooks so well! Don’t talk nonsense!” Next time a son or daughter to his (her) not abused, will not be to say “tasteless” and begin to praise what he doesn’t like, but you or someone else will be pleased to listen to his “reasonable speech”. You parents are asked to come to the phone and say that they’re not home? I have been asked. I went and lied. You scolded twos? And berate me. What did you do to about these twos’t know? We are two guys from the diary tried to “withdraw” with the help of various chemicals or accurately ripped out pages.
The reasons children lie perfectly wrote the psychologist O. Yurchenko in his book “the truth about children’s lies, or what parents need to know young liars”.
Children lie because:
– parents like to invent, facilitating a life half-truths and insincerity;
– there is a lack of attention and warmth from their parents;
– children Continue reading