What to do if a child is lying
Why not just come up with our kids! Their imagination would envy even the storyteller!
Surely all parents are already faced with the first fictional or embellished stories of their tots. But there comes that moment when you realize that the child is no longer just dreams . and develops her skills liar-professional.
Then the parents begin to worry, not knowing how to wean their child from such nasty habits. Often we do not think that it is our attitude, education or reaction to children’s lie exacerbates the problem.
Why the child is lying
If the younger sibling was more likely to deceive their parents, most likely, he ceased to trust them, or just afraid of the negative reactions to the offense. It is very important to know that you are not going to scold him. Express dissatisfaction with the act of the child, not them as a person.
Scientists have found that 4-year-old child lying approximately every two hours, and six-year – every 90 minutes. False “from the mouth of Babes” appears in 3 years, and 4-6 years children reach this perfection.
I’m afraid of you!
The most common cause of children’s lies – the fear of a parent yelling or punishment . When the child realized that the broken toy mom will complain (will deprive sweet, put in a corner, will not be allowed on the street, etc.), then the next time in this situation he’d be lying. I will say that he did not know where the broken truck, or that it was taken in the courtyard of adult boys, although the machine will stand under his bed.
What to do . If the lie was for Chad habit, it is not necessary to put up with it . Talk to him heart to heart, without accusations and anger: “let’s make a deal, what are you going to tell me that he did something wrong. Don’t be afraid. I’ll try not to be angry and I will be very glad you told me the truth” . Be sure to perform a promise, even if a sibling did something truly horrific.
The great dreamer
Children can often be exaggerated to gain the respect of peers . talking about the brother-the actor or sister in America. So to be “cool”, our offsprings tell that the parents let them go easily walk late with older friends. Doing this, mostly kids 7-8 years when they want to impress classmates.
Always emphasize how important is honesty in your family. Tell the child that it is very appreciate when people tell the truth, and then get upset when they’re lying
What to do . If you notice that the child often lies about his adventures, you know: life it seems boring . and he himself seems to be weak, stupid, and unworthy of more. Ask the child about his imaginary friends and achievements, but don’t show a negative reaction . Ask him how he would like to spend a day off. Try to understand what it was that son or daughter is so lacking in life. Find the answer – will solve the problem.
Every parent has ever had to lie to a child . For example, to refuse to give money to the neighbor or disable the phone to not talk to the chief. If you require a child to always tell the truth and to demonstrate this inconsistency . nothing good will come of it. As a minimum, the child will feel the internal conflict, and will not know how to do next time. As a high – he will cease to trust adults.
Mom-no new posts, Alice tells her story: “Parents need to understand that they themselves teach their children lies. When I was three, my mother asked me to tell the guests that she’s not home. I remember that just fell into a stupor: how is it not if there she stands. Then I learned to just masterly to lie, and mother marveled at who it was I such a liar. And recently, I repeated my mother’s mistake: when the son refused to lend money to a neighbor, an alcoholic, saying that there is no money. Did I correctly, but the child remembered that sometimes you needed to. So remember: never lie or in the presence of children, or discuss the act, explain why you did it”.
What to do . If the younger sibling is constantly cheating, you should ask him again: “are You sure it was? Tell the story one more time” . As a result of repeated story float any inaccuracies, new facts and fresh fruits of imagination.
You can use another trick: let your child know that you are aware of what is happening . Evil question: «Who spilled all the shadows in the bathroom?” replace on a quiet “I know you took my makeup” . It turns out that the key words are uttered, and continue the conversation you on totally different colours. So the child will understand that it is quite safe . and after some time it will cease to deceive.
For lying should not be punished
If You punish the child for lying, then he decides: You cry because they learned the truth. Then in the subconscious Chad fixates conclusion: the truth you need to carefully hide. The child decides that angered the mother is not a lie and the truth . To lie he will not cease, just to make parents do not know.
Elena Makarenko, child psychologist: “Remember yourself at that age. Probably and diaries ate my neighbor’s dog, and a vase smashed gust of wind. Do not be angry with the child or punish him. Remember what you felt in a similar situation, and how would not that you criticized. And learn to distinguish a child’s imagination (which can be useful) from the desire to avoid punishment. Sometimes the child just comes up with stories that never happened in my life – in this case, try to make it leisure as diverse as possible”.
Honest with the parents of the child will be when he:
I am sure that, under any circumstances, mom and dad will not humiliate; not afraid of parental anger or be rejected by them; knows that his support in a difficult situation, will advise you the correct way out of it; I am sure that the punishment (if followed) will be reasonable and equitable; knows that in disputable situations the parents will take his side; I am sure that between him, my mom and dad a trust exists.
Always make sure to stress how important honesty in your family. Tell the child that it is very appreciate when people tell the truth, and then get upset when they’re lying.
Praise your child for being honest. It is better to teach him not to lie, than to constantly punished for minor infractions. Good luck in this difficult but very doable!
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